Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Friday, November 6, 2009

Madrugada (Translated 2005)

This is the only poem I have translated (when my language skills were much better). I tried my best to preserve the Spanish, but took the liberty to add my own "style" to the translation. However, the meanings are just about the same.

For reference, Juana de Ibarbourou was a Uruguayan feminist poet- something you can probably pick up from the poem itself. Photo from Wikipedia.

MADRUGADA

He pasado la noche inquieta y desvelada.
Aclara el día y me escurro de la cama, aburrida.
Hoy yo sola paseo por esta calle extrema
de portones cerrados y de casas dormidas.

Amanecer como de humo.
Parece que el sol, malhumorado,
con leña verde peparara el fuego
para cocer su desayuno.

El viento es húmedo como recién salido
de un baño. En el cielo pálido,
las estrellas descoloridas
poco a poco se van borrando.

Pasa un lechero con boina roja.
Desde lo alto de un viejo muro,
me tienta un gajo curvo y felposo,
lleno de nísperos maduros.

Ando, ando, ando, ando.
Cuando retorne y hacia él me incline
con un beso, para despertarlo,
él pensará también, con gozo ávido,
que acabo de salir del baño.

-Juana de Ibarbourou

DAWN

I have passed the night, troubled and kept awake.
The day is clarifying and I slip out of bed, bored.
Today I alone pass through this far-carrying street
of small closed doors and of sleeping houses.

There is a dawn like smoke.
It seems that the ill-humored sun
has kindled a fire with green wood,
with which to cook its breakfast.

The wind is humid as if
it has recently returned from a bath.
In the pale sky, the colorless stars
are erased, little by little.

There passes a milkman in a red beret.
From the tallness of an old stone wall,
a curved, plush branch touches me
with the heaviness of its ripe medlars.

I walk and I walk,
and I walk, and I walk.

When I come back and incline towards him
with a kiss, meant to awaken him,
he too, will think with eager joy
that I have just returned from the bath.

-Jasmin Sultana, trans.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Penelope

I'm really excited to see The Time Traveler's Wife. I haven't read the book, but just the unique idea of the movie alone (it was written by the author as a "metaphor for her own failed relationships") is enough to interest me. A lot of the other themes it's supposed to cover are parallel to my own ideas about love. Among them are the ideas of "the faithful woman," and "the idea of feeling that you've known someone your whole life" --as the main character's love interest time travels and appears to her several times in her childhood.

You can see why I would be drawn to it, as predestination is something I've always believed in being a Muslim. In the tenth grade, I wrote a journal entry on soulmates and how everybody has one- an entry upon which my teacher Ms. Evans scribbled: "You know Jasmin, some people never find their soulmates." I decided to ignore Ms. Evans' comment, because I decided that it wasn't true. Maybe not everyone gets to be with their soulmates, but surely everyone finds one!

All of this thinking about soulmates also reminded me of Devdas, because of the similarities it shares with The Time Traveler's Wife. And I'm not talking about Bollywood Shahrukh-Aishwarya Devdas, but the original Bengali Devdas my mother read as a child. Devdas isn't just another story of lovers that aren't meant to be. It's also a strong commentary on Bengali social customs of the 1900's, with some "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" thrown in. Sadly, 100 years later, social customs are enough to keep people apart in the present day.

Quick summary for those unfamiliar with it (I've seen three movie versions of this):

Paro and Devdas are childhood friends, grow up to love each other, but Devdas' mother won't let him marry her because her family is poor. Devdas chooses not to defend her and instead runs away from the situation. Paro's mother sets her up with an even richer man, and upon hearing this, Devdas returns to try and convince Paro to come back to him. Paro refuses to take him back in spite, but makes him promise to return to her before his death.

Paro is not happy with her husband as he is a depressed widower that is uninterested in her. Devdas becomes a miserable drunkard and his health deteriorates. He meets another woman (a courtesan, in fact), but he never gets over Paro. When he feels that his death is approaching, he goes to Paro's home to keep his promise, but dies at her doorstep. Paro's in-laws do not allow her to see him (another example of societal customs).

Yeah, really depressing stuff- both of these movies. Even the trailer for The Time Traveler's Wife makes me want to cry. Also, saw Public Enemies today, which is another movie that depicts a woman who spends her life waiting for a man. I guess all of these movies/stories made me realize just how common the situation is.

As for the title of this post- the story of Penelope in Ancient Greek literature has been brought up in comparison to The Time Traveler's Wife. Read why here.

*Fun Fact: The first stuffed animal I ever owned was a pink bear in a pink skirt with a heart-shaped nose. My parents didn't buy her. I saw her at a relative's house and cried to have her until they gave her to me. I named her Penelope after The Perils of Penelope Pitstop. I promised her I'd never lose her, but I did.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

From 'Life of Pi'

I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. That pain is like an axe that chops at my heart.

-Yann Martel

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Realization Upon Waking

I suppose this is a pairing for this older poem. It's not really my style as it has slant rhyme and I tend to avoid any sort of rhyme, but it just seemed to work with it.

Did it not love you, when it was forgotten
weight on your bookshelf,
a cornered page of a tome?
Because that which is written is just and right
and has no will of its own.

The pages bore witness
to the muscle's lazy beating,
the rift underneath the flesh;
they stifled its breath with their parchment hands
and silenced it in death.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Compelled by love

O Physician, come back! my life is ebbing away.
Compelled by love, I dance, I dance.
This love has set up camp inside me.
It is I, who filled the cup with this poison and drank it.
Come back right away, else, I will surely die.
Compelled by love, I dance, I dance.
The sun has set, its glow remains.
Grant me a sight of you again! I would die for it!
What a mistake I made, not going with you.
Compelled by love I dance, I dance.
Mother do not bar me from this love.
Whoever turns back unloaded boats that have left?
How foolish I was, not going with the boatman.
Compelled by love I dance, I dance.
Peacocks sing in the groves of love.
My beautiful beloved is my Ka'ba, my Qibla.
He injured me, then turned away.
Compelled by love I dance, I dance.
Bulleh Shah, I sit at Inayat’s door,
He clothed me in robes of green and red.
When I stamped my heel, I found him.
Compelled by love I dance, I dance.

-Bulleh Shah

Neruda & Atwood

From – Twenty Poems of Love

I can write the saddest lines tonight.

Write for example: ‘The night is fractured
and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’

The night wind turns in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like these I held her in my arms.
I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.
To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her.

Hear the vast night, vaster without her.
Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.

What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her.
The night is fractured and she is not with me.

That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.
My heart looks for her: she is not with me

The same night whitens, in the same branches.
We, from that time, we are not the same.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.

Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.
Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.

Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her.

-Pablo Neruda

Variation On The Word Sleep


I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and as you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

-Margaret Atwood

XVII (I do not love you...)

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Translated by Stephen Tapscott
-Pablo Neruda

Love

When you love a man, he becomes more than a body. His physical limbs expand, and his outline recedes, vanishes. He is rich and sweet and right. He is part of the world, the atmosphere, the blue sky and the blue water.

-Gwendolyn Brooks

You want to take back
the ugly thing you said, but some shrapnel
remains in the wound, some mud.
Some piece of you
stays in me and I'll never give it back.
The heart hoards its thorns
just as the rose profligates.
Just because you've had enough
doesn't mean you wanted too much.

-Dean Young

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

-Neil Gaiman

I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion -
I have shudder'd at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion
Love is my religion
And I could die for that.
I could die for you.

-John Keats

The stage is more beholding to love, than the life of man. For as to the stage, love is ever matter of comedies, and now and then of tragedies; but in life it doth much mischief; sometimes like a siren, sometimes like a fury.

-Francis Bacon

It is difficult to resist the onset of love (August 3rd, 2007)

"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever."

-Rabindranath Tagore

It is difficult to resist the onset of love

the sinews of which strangle the taut flesh
of a pulsing heart until it drops
heavy in the chest, with its last futile thuds
rampant beneath the skin
as they are muffled and skipped into the throat
to become that telltale lump
(with all the smoothness of a flat stone
that cuts across water
before it is lost to the depths.)
And so I am lost to you.

the scene you will always remember (April 2007)

a half hour to sunset
the wet leaves from the morning trickled
into the kitchen window, washed in gold
and cast upon your dismal face
she is glorified, she is a woman
her days are stripped pale and there is sadness
in the ebb of her frame, the bend of her legs
she says, it's you she worries for
(and it is hard not to notice
the shape of her mouth)
you know all the ways her body folds
the hair that wanders from the neck
the way her back
arches into her clothes and the sheets, they too
freeze to her magnolia skin
she avoids your eyes, they are marbled
raw, reptilian, but her own
are colorless and feign indifference
she has always laughed
too often and too much
but in the last flickers of the day
you realize your favorite bit of her
is behind the knees
the slivers of flesh hidden from light
because they
like you
face inwards from the world

Across the Atlantic (March 2007)

I took a shot at a sestina for a class!

Walking alley after alley, I rest each bone and limb
upon smooth countertops, sheltered from shaken skies.
I am half inclined to give in, but I sit waiting
unable to believe I am an ocean away.
Breathing this infusion of warm java air,
I write the stories of my lover

which is a peculiar thing, because a story of a lover
is forgotten as fast as a stray leaf forgets the limb
from which it sprung. In cold air,
the heavens lend watercolors to their skies
dabs of asphalt that are swept away
by the roving wind, forever waiting.

In this town it seems as if everyone is waiting.
For news of an old acquaintance, a lost lover
an estranged relative, a friend gone away
for whom they would give any limb
to find and hold again beneath these skies.
There is loss, a song of sadness in the air.

And life itself, is but the intake of air
abruptly, or in fluidity, always waiting
for fate to reveal what’s held for us in the skies.
A bleak future, a child, a lover
loss of life or pride or loss of limb
until the drifts of time take all away.

My pen scratches paper and scribes away
pulling words of life and strength out of air,
speaking as if it were in fact, a limb
of my own. It knows nothing of waiting
pallid nights for the return of a lover
but it writes truthfully, of sin and sunken skies.

I know what is to be because I have seen it in the skies.
I will crumple these words, I will wander away,
I will never find this pretentious lover,
the lurid scent that wafts in the air
with last night’s dream. The clock is not waiting.
My heart aches through my every limb.

So I face the skies, into the English winter air,
press on through streets, away where life is waiting
for me to see with the eyes of a lover, and heal an unfamiliar limb.

Sanford, Maine. 5:43AM (February 2007)

he saw her for the last time off route 109
her hair brassy
under the fluid lights of the parking lot

they shared a cigarette, and a cause
as empty as the feeling
in the pits of their stomachs
an infatuation
that caved them like the suburb walls
a town plagued by the diligence of traffic police

she said she owed him nothing
life goes on in this place,
whether I have you or not

in the creeping light of New England dawn
a Chevrolet rounds the bend
the high school janitor has arrived for his shift
across the four lane street,
his uniform embroidered Earl
and a girl of sixteen, clean pressed in navy
sweeps cold floors at the diner
with buzzing neon lights

the burning half of his smoke
meets a crushed end
in the pavement before his departure
he thinks of her in secret;
he loves her in theory

in the mornings his eyes are glass gray
with the slightest bit of sky

Aïcha, one of my favorites.

Comme si je n'existais pas (Like this, I don't exist)
Elle est passée à coté de moi (She passed next to me,)
Sans un regard, Reine de Sabbat (Without even a look, Queen of the Sabbath)
J'ai dit, Aïcha, prends, tout est pour toi (I said, Aicha, take it, everything
is for you)

Voici, les perles, les bijoux (Here, pearls and jewels)
Aussi, l'or autour de ton cou (Also, gold around your neck)
Les fruits, bien mûrs au goût de miel (Fruit, ripe with the taste of honey)
Ma vie, Aïcha si tu m'aimes (my life, Aicha, if you love me)

J'irai où ton souffle nous mène (I will go where your breath takes us)
Dans les pays d'ivoire et d'ébène (In countries of ivory and ebony)
J'effacerai tes larmes, tes peines (I will erase your tears and sorrow)
Rien n'est trop beau pour une si belle (Nothing is too much for one so
beautiful)

Aïcha, Aïcha, écoute-moi (Aïcha, Aïcha, listen to me)
Aïcha, Aïcha, t'en vas pas (Aïcha, Aïcha, don't leave)
Aïcha, Aïcha, regarde-moi (Aïcha, Aïcha, look at me)
Aïcha, Aïcha, réponds-moi (Aïcha, Aïcha, answer me)

Je dirai les mots des poèmes (I will said the words of poems)
Je jouerai les musiques du ciel ( I will play the music of heaven)
Je prendrai les rayons du soleil (I will take the rays of the sun)
Pour éclairer tes yeux de reine (in order to light up your royal eyes)

Aïcha, Aïcha, écoute-moi (Aïcha, Aïcha, listen to me)
Aïcha, Aïcha, t'en vas pas (Aïcha, Aïcha, don't leave)

Elle a dit, garde tes trésors (she said, keep your treasures)
Moi, je vaux mieux que tout ca (Me, I am better than that)
Des barreaux forts, des barreaux même en or (Strong bars, even if they are bars
of gold)
Je veux les mêmes droits que toi ( I want the same rights as you)
Et du respect pour chaque jour (and respect every day)
Moi je ne veux que de l'amour (I only want love)

Comme si je n'existais pas (like this, I don't exist)
Elle est paséee à coté de moi (She passed next to me,)
Sans un regard, Reine de Sabbat (Without a look, Queen of the Sabbath)
J'ai dit, Aïcha, prends, tout est pour toi (I said, Aicha, take it, everything
is yours)

Nbrik Aïcha ou nmout allik (I want you,
Aicha, I'm dying for you)
'Hhadi kisat hayaty oua habbi (This is the story of my life and my love)
Inti omri oua inti hayati (you are my breath
and my life)
Tmanit niich maake ghir inti (I want to live with you and I want nothing without you)

-Khaled (forgot where I found the translation but it's a really good one)

Daffodils in Acrylic (2004)

Where I touch you lightly enough,
there I am also touched.

-James Richardson

When your eyes are closed, I still feel
the radiating clouds that imprison
our breath in winter.
I do not await our days,
I do not remember our days
of light curtains drawn in
old-fashioned rooms with French doors.
At siesta, the warm afternoon light
rinses our skin in golden hues.

There is nothingness in my four walls.
They are cream and etched,
save for the daffodils.
Outside the window, a peddler
plays his violin with new ardor.
We wonder why we chose to be alone.

An Exercise for Class, 2004

3 sketches, all related.

the water-bearers

my father gave me the strong bones in my face
and the tallness of his sisters-
swimmers that knew water,
before their feet ever touched land
I saw them many years ago
combing their long wet hair
on the stone steps of the banks

the discovery

tiny magnificent ripples
each one gliding over the next
in a play of rise and defeat
at five, I realized
I could break the calmness
of the warm glowing surface,
to submerge my legs in darkness
and still float

rebirth

I feel it as if I were there myself
because of the irony
that both separates and unites us:
He who approaches the banks of love
neither sinks nor floats

I am absorbed in this paradox
for had I known you,
I could have loved you
Beneath the shade
of green leaves and spotted sunlight,
my skin is still moist
I have just emerged.

The Cowboy (2004)

I picture a drifter, a man of few words
the kind that's had one too many black coffees
at lonesome diners in the southwest

a vaquero of sorts
rough around the edges,
learned hands tough with the experience
that comes from years of ranching stubborn cattle

he takes care not to overstay his welcome,
riding from the ruins of one ghost town to the next,
the romantic figure
with his dark silhouette against the fiery sunset,
lost under that vastness of desert sky

this solitary drifter,
graced with the presence of a million desert stars,
untouchable and free from the perturbance
of desolate city eyes
but no one to hold, as the cool dry air
tears away at his heartstrings.

the gentleman (2002)

Brooklyn Tech High School (Stuyvesant Dismissal)
Around 7PM,
September 18, 2001

he holds doors for girls
a soft-spoken “thank you”
a hurried “you’re welcome”
but he forgets fast.